1. |
Handbag
03:01
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There was an open microphone
I hung around just to have a go
A string of singers with guitars
Waiting patiently by the bar
Singing our songs of misery
Strumming with no rhythm
In a minor key
With morbid similarity
Only one stuck in my memory
He had a hand bag on his head
He got my goat, I was amazed
I went to see him whenever he played
The Red Deer, Shakespeare, Devonshire Green
The star of the local music scene
He was on Look North on the BBC
He was such a novelty
But nobody was listening
He could have been singing anything
He had a handbag on his head
The national papers took a shine
He was on the brink of being signed
But he was growing so full of doubt
Nobody cares what I'm singing about
So he threw away the bag
'This is me' for good or bad
He fell into obscurity
Like a drop of rain in a stormy sea
He had a handbag on his head
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2. |
Not a real man
02:55
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I’m not a real man
I’m not handy with my hands
I’m not traditional, or inexplicable
I’m not a real man
Pretty sure I’m not fictional
I just don’t care what I am
I’ve got names for all my feelings
I like a fresco on my ceiling
I want to be in your eye
I’m not a real man but I get by
I’m not a real man
I don’t explain what you understand
I’m not designing an evil, over-arching plan
I’m not a real man
Dodge heavy lifting when I can
And I need a seat to take a stand
I’m no stallion, I’m no thug
Don’t want a fight, just want a hug
I want to be in your eye
I’m not a real man but I get by
I won’t apologise
I see a different light
And if you make me crawl
I will crawl upright
No I’m not a real man
Don’t need names for what I am
Unless I have to fill in a form
I don’t do football chants
I stay inside in the warm
I cry when I watch Up and Riverdance
Yes I talk about my feelings
When they haven’t got me kneeling
I want to be in your eye
I’m not a real man but I try…yes I try to get by
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3. |
Gyges
04:10
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Gyges was invisible before he ever found the ring
You could miss him without even trying
Once upon a time he’d wished that he was ugly
Cos being pretty, was pretty much the same
Only it came with responsibility
That’s not for me
Says Gyges
He never goes to office dos he never gets an invite
It saves him from saying no, and being impolite
People might start noticing he doesn’t want to know them
They’d start getting funny and he couldn’t go through that again
That’s not for me
Says Gyges
One day he found a golden ring in the nest of a magpie
He thought of all the Space Marine figurines he could buy
He tried the ring and got a shock when he looked in a mirror
He wasn’t there, even when he got nearer and nearer
That’s not for me
Says Gyges
And he dreams about the ring and all the things he could do
Like dancing in a nightclubs, and using public loos
He could rule a nation, slay his way to any throne
Or he could just stay at home
That’s more like me
Says Gyges
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4. |
Scared of love
02:45
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You're so handsome
You're so tough
Tie your face on
Tight enough
So no one can see
Who you're hiding
You're the alpha
You're the King
acting like you
Know what you're doing
and playing strange games
With confiding
You've been losing all the things
That you've been dreaming of
I know it's hard
When you're scare of love
You say, 'Don't believe
This face of mine,
When I go home
Nothing shines'
Then you make a joke
To get your rhythm
I've seen you bully
Smaller men
Try and make them
Be your friends
But power is never taken
Only given
You've been losing all the things
That you've been dreaming of
I know it's hard
When you're scared of love
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5. |
In between
03:42
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I’m not really here
And I’m not really there yet
I am like a smoker
Who’s never had a cigarette
Like a dog in a collar of shame
Waiting for release
Picking up the pieces falling in between
I’m open and I’m honest
I try to be a grown up
They ask me how I feel
I’m never going to own up
Sometimes it makes me happy
Sometimes it makes me scream
Picking up the pieces falling in between
I’m not la-di-dah
But I want my denouement
I’ll take your stick
If it’s got a moon on
All I ever wanted
Was some magic beans
Picking up the pieces falling in between
I’m never in the future
Never in the past
I’m never in present
It never lasts
My hair is grey
And my soul is green
Picking up the pieces in between
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6. |
You could fall in love
03:35
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It's a two horse town
But one has gone
Nothing ever changes
There's nothing going on
All my life
All these mysteries
All the right doors
All the wrong keys
You said you could fall in love
You said you could fall in love
With anyone
Looking back
On all I've done
I learned to breathe
And see the sun
All the things
I never knew
Circle like a galaxy
Around you
You said you could fall in love
You said you could fall in love
With anyone
You never let me read your sign
Or see your destiny
I might have seen
The best in me
It's a two horse town
In a sea of stars
I'm walking in the light
That's shining from the past
I'm afraid
And I am blessed
Like a new-born
In the wilderness
You said you could fall in love
You said you could fall in love
With anyone
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7. |
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Always falling in between
Never knowing why
Saying what she thought
Was worse than telling lies
And she did as she was told
Never was enough
For a model child
On the edge of love
Why does being an angel feel sinful?
Waiting for the stars to rise
So she could have the night
And be anyone
That her heart desired
She was Madame Bovary
Lady Aquitaine
Pirate Captain Bonny
On the Spanish Main
Why does being an angel feel so sinful?
Sometimes she could have the day
She could play the spy
Masquerading as
Their model child
And whenever she could play
She was never lost
She didn’t have to be
Less than what she was
Why does being an angel feel so sinful?
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8. |
Party stains
04:40
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You got your party stains
From sliding down the drain
Running from another jealous wife
Running from the past
Over broken glass
Holding on to your disguise
What a thrill, what a spill, what a life
Who needs tattoos?
Who needs the pain?
When you wear your party stains
You go from bar to bar
You don’t know where you are
It doesn’t look like anywhere
You flow from drink to drink
From hand to mouth to sink
If they fall in love, that’s their affair
They don’t know where you go, they don’t care
Who needs tattoos?
Who needs the pain?
Who needs the blues?
When you wear your party stains
You wander through the town
The stars are pressing down
You're shedding feathers every day
You wonder how it all
Ever got so small
You’ve heard what everybody has to say
You don’t know
How to go
Or how to stay
Who needs tattoos?
Who needs the pain?
Who needs the blues
Who needs a name?
When you wear your party stains
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9. |
Trouble comes sideways
03:08
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Troubles come sideways darling, all the time
With all those faces, you could be simply everybody in the pantomime
Troubles come sideways darling, from behind
You’ve been working day and night
While they’ve been boozing in the backroom of your mind
You can double down
You can turn your cheek
But you know they’re coming back
For the other one next week
Don’t give up, don’t give up
Everything has an end (you know it’s true)
Don’t give up, no, don’t give up
Everything has an end
Trouble comes sideways from the past
You know who you’d like to be, but the feeling never lasts
Trouble comes sideways darling, from outside
When you decide to choose a side
They boo and throw tomatoes at you when you try to sleep at night
You can slap their face
Or give ‘em cheek
But you know they’re coming back for you
When you’re weak
Don’t give up, no, don’t give up
Everything has an end
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10. |
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Everything was painted black
My skulls and sofa and the welcome mat
I was lying there surrounded by my candlesticks
Looking at the wall at my inverted crucifix
I was realising that when I’m lying down
It looks the right way around
And I found out one more thing
I found out one more thing
I found out one more thing
I don’t want to know
I was going to prepare the ritual for the curse
But I had to go and get some shopping first
Recalling all the ugly things you posted up online
Saying how the earth is round and your console is better than mine
Yes you were my best friend but now you’re going down
I’d rather be your enemy if it means you’ll stick around
I arose. The moon was full.
Invoking all the spirits to come to my little ritual
I wished the very worst for you, curses, hexes, afflictions and infections
Wild dogs and chickenpox and an intermittent internet connection
I told myself that getting close to anyone will only bring me down
I'm better off alone - I wish you could see me now!
It didn’t go so very well
You were always better at these kinds of spells
I thought I’d better call you and ask you what to do
Then we started talking and I forgot I hated you
You said, 'I never call you, I never come around'
I heard myself reflecting and I didn’t like the sound
And I found out one more thing
I found out one more thing
I found out one more thing
That I don't want to know
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11. |
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I failed the well being survey
Oh...and so did you
It's nothing to do with our employers
Their lawyers are good at what they do
We failed the well being survey
They asked if we were ill
As their policies and their procedures
Had been legally fulfilled
I'm sure we'll be ok
Me and you
There's such an easy cure
Just a well being worksheet
Or two
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12. |
The seven deadly sins
03:23
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The seven deadly sins still haven’t killed me
I wonder if I…have been doing it right
Or maybe I’m just lazy
But I have done
Every one
Though some more than others
In the name of earning my bread and butter
The seven deadly sins
The seven deadly sins still haven’t killed me
Sorry if I am sarcy and dry but hierarchies
Do not thrill me
Ambition and pride
Are my Jekyll and Hyde
And I don’t like either one
You have to have a lot of faces
If you want to be someone
The seven deadly sins still haven’t killed me
If I fight…the system from within, it will ruin me
Or upskill me
The sins of the mind
Have been enshrined
In the pillars that hold up the ceiling
So, let’s sin again, once more with feeling
The seven deadly sins
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13. |
Between the land and sky
03:55
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I want to hold you back
From where you want to go
You say you’re sorry I will never know
Your inner peace, your ecstasies
All the secrets you believe
Are shining bridges
That reach beyond the eye
Between the land and sky
You squeeze my arm and say
The world is full of lies
I would be a fool to say it’s otherwise
You sit with me, you pity me
Wishing I could see what you see
All the shining bridges
That reach beyond the eye
Between the land and sky
You balance on the edge
The valley’s far below
Trees await with open arms as you prepare to go
I know the need for a simple creed
I see you stretching out your hand to me
From the shining bridges
That reach beyond the eye
Between the land and sky
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14. |
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I travelled back in time
To when I was a child
Just to go and give myself some good advice
But there was a queue
Two dozen versions of me who’d
Travelled back in time with the same idea
In the queue ahead of me
Was me age twenty three
He wasn’t very pleased to learn I don’t own a mansion by the sea
I said, ‘If you get off the dole
Get a job, forget your soul
I’d be living in the lap of luxury
You’ve taken wrong turns
Like birds take earth worms
A voice came from the air
An older me was up there
In a levitating wheelchair
…with laser guns
He’d travelled back in time
To say time travel is a waste of time
And is really, none of my affair
I said, ‘Don’t tell me what to do
You clearly haven’t thought through your idea
If what you say is true then what are you doing here?’
He said, ‘that’s a point well made’
Then of course he kicked me in the face
I should have seen that coming
We fell into a brawl
HIm and me and then us all
Outside the gates of my old school
But I won the fight
Yeah I won the fight
So you see? It wasn’t a waste of time after all
You've taken wrong turns
Like birds take earthworms
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15. |
Come back
02:55
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Just stay in, or go out
Have a meal or go without
Take a stand, bail out
I hope it don’t come back on me
Cut my hair, let it grow
Shut the door or say hello
Should I choose? I don’t know!
I hope it don’t come back on me
I fall apart when you go
And all the things you said were so
Go, go, go like magpies out the window
Stick it out, ditch the work
Keep it in, go berserk
Watch Das Boot or Thunderbirds
I hope it don’t come back on me
I’m a boy – I’m a man
I’m Spartacus and Mary Anne
I’m not always who I am
Why do I keep on hacking me
I fall apart when you leave
And all the things that you believe
Go, go, go like magpies out the window
I don’t identify as a Gemini
Then again, I might
Life would be much easier… or harder,
If I could decide
Live a life, live a death
Make a claim or take what’s left
Bedevil the ref, or be the ref
I fall apart when I’m free
And all the things that I can see
Go, go, go like my magpies? Pigeons? Flies?
Out the window
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16. |
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Richard Masters Sheffield, UK
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